Secret Origins: Thunderbunny!

Originally published: April, 2011

Well, this is it, the last entry in my theme month here at Secret Origins. I had a lot of fun telling the tales of some of the funny animal heroes that got me into comics in the first place. I really wanted to end with Hoppy, The Marvel Bunny, but as I said last week, getting a hold of his origin issue is way beyond my price range. Then, as I was digging through my back issues, I found a hero that is both comparable and more than a bit weird. This hero isn’t a funny animal per se, as he is humanoid. I wouldn’t exactly call him human, though. What I would call him is downright freaky and disturbing, given the context in which he operates. I think it’ll just be better if we dive right in, so here we go with… The Secret Origin of Thunderbunny!

Our tale begins in Boston, where the high winds in the skyscraper district are wreaking havoc on those unfortunate enough to have to check window supports. Wouldn’t you know it, the scaffolding rope snaps, and we instantly have trouble with a capital T. Luckily, young Bobby Caswell sees the danger, and even though he is reluctant to do so (we’ll see why in a second), he claps his hands together, and an amazing and startling change takes place.

"Furry Attack! Run away! Run Away!"

So, Thunderbunny rescues the window worker, who doesn’t instantly die from shock, so credit where it’s due, I guess. Once TB takes him to the roof to meet with his fellow, though, questions are definitely asked. Well, they are more like exasperated gasps of disbelief, so the Caped Cottontail flies off, looking back with a creepy gaze and a message:

"Like we could forget, I'll see you every time I close my eyes!"

So with the day saved, Thunderbunny retreats to an abandoned alleyway and returns to his human form. Bobby Caswell returns home, and since this is his first appearance, his thoughts inevitably turn to how he came to be in the situation he’s in. A few summers ago, Bobby was at his Uncle’s place, enjoying his favorite pastime of reading comics, when what seemed like a shooting star landed at nearby Bald Mountain. Being the impetuous young lad that he is, Bobby searches for what he believes to be some somewhat harmless debris from space. Instead, he comes across an alien craft of unknown origin. Having no common sense whatsoever, Bobby enters the craft. It’s deserted, but there is a conveniently placed altar that has 3-fingered handholds. Of course, he touches them, and then he has what I like to think of as a mind trip induced by sugary cereals and 80's-era Saturday morning cartoons.

"Man, I knew I shouldn't have dropped acid while watching Shirt Tales!"

Doctor Bar-Ko continues that Bobby will never forget the image of his race’s superhero, Thunderbunny. I think that’s kind of an understatement, Doc. Also, why are you giving away this insane amount of power with your only requirements being intelligence and hands?! By that criterion, we could have ended up with a rampaging super gorilla/bunny, and no one wants that! Ah, there is a limitation to the powers, though, and it is a hefty one. Apparently, to return to his own form, Bobby has to keep a clear mental image of himself, and the longer he stays in Thunderbunny’s form, the harder it will be for him to do so. Talk about your catch-22 situation. Bobby emerges from the ship, pretty unbelieving of these occurrences. Bobby tries the handclap thing. It works, of course, so he does what any self-respecting person who suddenly finds themselves with superpowers would do: he tries to fly.

Really? And here I thought he was swimming. Thanks, block letters!

Bobby proceeds to fly around the city, and because he is an archetypal, though odd-looking hero type, he discovers a robbery in progress and decides to intervene. Now, I am not a criminal, but if a 6-foot refugee from Anthro-Con decided he wanted to stop me, I think I’d just give up right then. These guys, however, don’t waste time trying to fight back. Their efforts come to naught as Thunderbunny finds he is super-strong, invulnerable, and probably has advanced hearing, what with the ears and all, so he wipes the floor with them.

"Take THAT, Thundarr the Barbarian!"

The day is saved, but for some reason, people are freaking out. You’d think they’d never seen a superhero before. Bobby/Thunderbunny takes this time to look at his reflection in a shop window. His reaction is calm and measured. A more mature reaction you will never see in all of comicdom. He’s a nice, well-adjusted young man for sure.

C'mon, you saw this coming, right?

I guess I would freak out a bit too, but honestly, he was given the powers by an anthropomorphic dog, who even showed him what he’d look like. If the boy is going to choose now to freak out, maybe Bar-Ko has an even lower standard for “intelligence” than I previously thought. Suitably freaked out over his appearance, Thunderbunny claps his hands to change back into Bobby, but well… it doesn’t work. He just manages to give his hands the mother of after-clap stings. He decided to give it the old college try again…

"Kla-Zamm!" Similar to, but legally distinct from Shazam!

So Bobby returns to his old self and engages in some tried and true comic book angst.  He doesn’t know if being a superhero is worth it if he has to do it in the guise of a giant pink rabbit. I can’t say I blame the kid, but I would be much more concerned with the fact that he could lose his identity as a human permanently! Maybe that’s because I live in the real world and have to think of things like consequences. Bobby’s story ends there, but it is by no means the end of Thunderbunny. Shortly after this tale was published, Charlton, the publisher, would give up most of their properties to DC, but not Thunderbunny. He actually got picked up by Archie for a while, teaming up with that stable of superheroes before getting his own (very) short-lived title from WaRP Graphics, so I guess Bobby overcame his misgivings. Honestly, even without the bunny stuff, the idea of being stuck as a hero is an incredibly interesting concept that I’m curious to see if it was actually delved into in any sort of meaningful way. At any rate, I hope you enjoyed funny animal month. Next week, I’ll be back to my normal randomness. If you have a suggestion for a Secret Origin you’d like to see, drop me a comment!

This story originally appeared in Charlton Bullseye Vol 2 #6 March, 1982. I don’t think it’s ever been reprinted, but I could be wrong.

Brave and The Bold: When Superboy Met Robin!

Originally Published September 2013:

 

These days, team-ups between heroes happen all the time. Before Marvel made a coherent comics universe a thing, however, they were few and far between. That’s why Superman and Batman team-ups were so anticipated back then. DC then had an idea: Sure, Superman has met Batman and Robin before, but what if Robin, the Boy Wonder, met Superboy and had an adventure? The result was this little gem: When Superboy met Robin!

Our story opens in the Smallville of the nebulous past of twenty-or-so years ago, where Superboy is greeted by Pete Groff, owner of Smallville’s largest stadium. Smallville, you see, is a midwestern small town that just happens to have multiple stadiums, because why not? Anyway, Groff has a proposal for the Boy of Steel, a science fair! Groff will invite three famous scientists to study Superboy and how he uses his power. Thinking it’ll be great for publicity and therefore helping Smallville, Superboy agrees. 

Now that the setup is out of the way, Superboy retires to his secret citadel, which houses all of his super-trophies. Just before he leaves for the science fair, a curious thing happens…

 

“It’s your kids, Clark! Something’s gotta be done about your kids!”

After that quick introduction, Robin immediately produces a baseball bat and attempts to destroy a cosmic clock Superboy has on display. Superboy is kind of freaked. I mean, if a kid just got beamed inside your secret headquarters and started smashing things, I’d be a bit taken aback too. Nevertheless, the Boy of Steel is willing to listen to Robin’s story, after he takes the bat away, of course!

 

“Because Earth hospitals in the 1950s know how to treat Kryptonians!”

As it is, the hospital does all it can, but Superman is dying. It’s only a matter of time. These words set a spark in the Boy Wonder’s head, and he goes to see Prof. Nichols, who has sent him and Batman into the past before, as seen in The Three Super-Musketeers! Robin’s recap finishes, and we’re brought back to the present, so to speak, where Superboy explains the cosmic clock was built by himself for the Science Fair. He hasn’t received a clock trophy… yet. Superboy accepts Robin’s offer to stay and help him avert his future death. Self-preservation is a superpower too!

Later, at the science fair, the newly formed duo meets the aforementioned scientists. They all have presentations that predict future events, which in Robin’s time (1958) have already happened. As the scientists set up their apparatus for observing Superboy’s powers in action, there is coincidentally a giant vacuum that’s swallowing a bank truck. Jumping into action, the Superboy-Robin team uses a move that the X-Men will rip off in about 20 years, the Fastball Special!

 

“Wolverine, eat your heart out!”

 Even after this valiant effort, Superboy gets sucked into the giant vacuum. With a great burst of super-strength, he destroys it utterly. However, as he’s rounding up thugs, he notices Robin doing something strange…

 

Maybe because no one should know too much about their own future, Superboy!

Superboy shrugs his suspicions off for the time being, and the two heroes return to the fair. On arrival, the scientists present the youths with a trophy, which turns out to be a bust and not the fated clock. Hey, we still have 5 pages of story to go, we can’t be resolving things that quickly! We’re then treated to a little vignette of Clark’s home life, performing errands for his parents. It’s totally unnecessary to the story, but it does contain some fun moments, such as when Dick says Clark is giving him an inferiority complex.

Back to the meat of the story. Later, the boys encounter an airplane with a battering ram attempting to break into the bank. Superboy figures he can take out the plane with a single blow, but Robin fouls things up with his all-too-human failings.

 

WTF!? Isn’t Robin a highly trained acrobat?

Anyway, plot contrivances aside, Superboy does indeed take down the battering ram in one blow. Following the pattern of the story, Robin again picks up a fragment of debris and hides it from Superboy in lead-lined pouches. Superboy can’t let his suspicions go unsaid anymore and he confronts the Boy Wonder…

 

“I’m a time-traveler sent here to prevent your death! MUCH more believable!”

Robin knows the only way to get out of this sticky wicket is to stroke Clark’s super-ego. So, he regales the Boy of Steel with stories about his future super feats, like melting an iceberg to help a farm overcome their drought, sewing a ripped blimp with a wire cable and steel girder, and using his x-ray vision when an actual x-ray machine is broken. Suitably impressed with himself, Superboy allows Robin to explain what the fingerprints are for: trophies, because if there is one thing Silver Age Superman loves, it’s trophies!

Speaking of which, when the two return to the fair, they are presented with another trophy, but this time it’s a statuette of Superboy, not the dreaded clock. Before the guys can catch their breath, yet another crime breaks out, this time a robot is robbing a jewelry store. This time, Robin gets to shine as he catches the creator of the robot while Superboy stops the robot itself. 

 

Because you’re a little arrogant and totally full of yourself, Superboy, why else?

And of course, the scientists, having monitored this, present the two young heroes with yet another trophy, this time it finally is the clock! Robin orders Superboy to get rid of it at once, and so Superboy does what he does best when confronted with a problem with no apparent solution: He throws it into space!

 

“I must have my Bat Robot Repellent in my utility belt somewhere!”

The fray is on! Robin’s efforts are incredibly futile, as he is immediately knocked out by the giant metal arms of the robot. Superboy takes point, hoping to make short work of things, but his overconfidence gets the better of him as the robot has kryptonite on hand to take him down! With the last ounces of his strength, Superboy removes a mirror from Robin’s utility belt and blinds Groff, who has inexplicably left the safety of his robot body. Superboy manages to blind the villain long enough for Robin to recover and remove the kryptonite. Now all that’s left is to wrap things up!

 

“And I would have gotten away with it, too, if not for you meddling superheroes!”

And so, things wrap up pretty nicely, even though now Superboy will grow up knowing Robin’s secret identity and how his parents died, and doesn’t do a thing about it. So, what’s the moral of the story? Even as a boy, Superman is a dick.

 

This story originally appeared in Adventure Comics #253, October 1958. It was reprinted in the Greatest Team Up Stories Ever Told, as well as Superboy: The Greatest Team-Up Stories Ever Told (see the pattern?)

 

Brave and the Bold: The Three Super-Mesketeers!

Back in the day, I had a little blog called Epic-Randomness. It was fun, I enjoyed it, and sometimes, it even made people laugh. Well, now it's back! However, this is just a test post, revisiting the last post I made on the original blog.

 If you’re familiar with comics at all, using The Brave and the Bold as a title usually equates to team-up stories. This is true, but potentially any retro-comic can be reviewed here, even if the initial focus is going to be team-ups. For the inaugural column, I decided to use the World’s Finest team of Superman and Batman… and Robin. So, travel back in time with us to 1956, and then even further back to the 17th century with The Three Super-Musketeers!

The story begins innocently enough, at the Gotham City Historians’ Convention. There, Dr. Carter Nichols announces his intent to solve the riddle regarding the identity of the Man in the Iron Mask! For some reason, Clark Kent of the Daily Planet is there to cover the convention. Knowing of Nichols' reputation and previous work with Batman and Robin, he decides to pay the Dynamic Duo a visit. After a quick exchange of pleasantries, we find that Nichols actually plans to send Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson back in time using a combination of his miraculous time-ray and straight-up hypnosis. You laugh, but it’s not so far-fetched as far as comic book science goes.

Travelling unprotected in the time vortex. Not even The Doctor does that!

Before you can say “Holy convenient plot device, Batman!” The trio find themselves in 17th-century France near the prison of Pignerol. I kind of admire this story in two conflicting ways. It gets a lot of facts right, but it also isn’t afraid to eschew them in favor of a fun story. Speaking of, barely after they get their bearings, the World’s Finest team comes across D’artagnan and the other Three Musketeers (but not before they switch to their costumes. (It may be 16-something or other, but you’ve got to protect your secret identity.) This meeting turns out to be most fortuitous, seeing as the musketeers are severely injured from their latest scuffle with the villainous Bourdet. Batman, ever the tactical mind, has a cunning plan. He has the musketeers disrobe, and suddenly the titanic trio are stand-ins for Athos, Porthos, and Aramis! Just in time, too, as they are beset by Bourdet’s men. Thankfully, these aren’t ordinary musketeers being faced!

Because OF COURSE Batman is an expert fencer!

Not to be outdone, Superman welds the two disarmed swords with his own using heat vision to rout the rest of the brigands. In the aftermath, our heroes find out that the musketeers were actually trying to rescue the Man in the Iron Mask when they were injured. Not leaving anything to chance, Batman asks straight out who the Man is. According to D’artagnan, it’s none other than Count Ferney! Batman, throwing causality to the wind, offers to help D’artagnan prove his claim, after the real musketeers are given refuge.

In the meantime, we meet Bourdet, who does not believe the Super-Musketeers could possibly have done what his men say. He is about to find out, though, as our band of buck-swashlers arrive at the castle. Superman takes point, and it’s a good thing, because…

Too bad Kryptonite didn’t exist in the 17th century!

Naturally, Superman tears through the iron as if it were paper. That doesn’t stop Bourdet’s men, though, bless ‘em! Having no idea what they’re up against, they charge the (literal) Man of Tomorrow with pikes. As expected, this doesn’t work either, but at least we get a great exchange from Batman and Robin…

Batman’s outright shut-down of Robin makes me laugh out loud every time.

Bourdet is a wise man, however. Seeing that his forces are ridiculously outmatched, he does the only thing he can: bring out the Man in the Iron Mask as a hostage! Before surrendering, Superman decides to take a peek under the mask, but wouldn’t you know it, the thing is lined with lead. Anyway, being the noble heroes that they are, the super-musketeers surrender and allow themselves to be chained while the castle is set to ground with explosives. Bourdet and his entourage get away with their prisoner and make their way to greener pastures…

“In an Emergency?” Silver Age Superman always finds an excuse to tunnel and/or break things.

After the danger has passed, the Super-Musketeers use their recollection of history and logically assume that the Man in the Iron Mask is about to be moved to the Bastille… where he’s destined to die. Superman won’t accept that they are destined to fail saving this man, while Batman can’t believe history can be changed. Even though this is a 50s story, and they aren’t quite the same characters today, it’s nice that the World’s Finest heroes still have differences. Moving on, Superman indeed spies the prisoner in the Bastille. Rather than just rescue him, Batman suggests that Superman stay with the prisoner while he and Robin try to convince the king of Bourdet’s guilt. A solid plan by Batman, even though Superman could get to Versailles to grab the king and be back in like 3 seconds.

Regardless, it’s the Dynamic Duo on their way to have an audience with the king. Being mere mortals, they are, of course, chased by Bourdet’s men. I would love to explain how they throw their pursuers, but I don’t think words could explain how insanely absurd it as well as the visual…

How did their pursuers not realise the Dynamic Duo disrobing?  Two words: “He’s Batman!”

With the bad guys bamboozled, the Caped Crusaders make it to the royal palace easily, and to gain egress to the King’s chambers is easy as pie, what with a royal banner hanging outside his window. A quick wall-climb later, and our heroes are face to face with the king. Unfortunately, he mistakes them for assassins (What would you think if two masked men entered your bedroom through the window?) and tries to run them through. The King is a better leader than a fighter, though, as he knocks himself out on his chamber door. Batman has a plan, though, and it combines both his considerable skills as well as his penchant for exchanging clothes with people.

Does anyone else think Robin has done this before?

Not wasting any time, Batman (as the King) sets the royal carriage off to the Bastille, full speed ahead. Bourdet has spies everywhere, it seems, as one of his lackeys sends a carrier pigeon to take care of the Man in the Iron Mask before his innocence can be proven!. Quick cut to the Bastille, and that’s exactly what’s going on (carrier pigeons were apparently cheetah-quick). The bad guys proceed to flood the prisoner’s cell…

Those red boots tell me you’re probably incorrect, Monsieur Bad Guy.

So yeah, it’s obviously Superman in the Iron Mask, but that doesn’t deter Bourdet’s men from trying to kill him. You have to admire that kind of loyalty in a henchman. After multiple attempted murders, such as suffocation, impalement, and good old-fashioned roughhousing, Superman sees his companions arriving and takes care of business. By this time, the King, still in Batman’s costume, has come to, and the sordid tale is spelled out for him. Count Ferney is safe, but what of history’s account of the Man in the Iron Mask dying in the Bastille? Well, it looks like the king is into ironic punishment.

Time Travel: It always wraps up nicely, except for when it doesn’t.

With the adventure over and the real musketeers recovered from their injuries, it’s time for our heroes to be drawn back to the “present” of 1956. They are still in costume, however, so as they are fading back into the timestream, Batman orders everyone to change clothes (told you he was into it). Meeting back with Dr. Nichols, the trio fills him in on the “true” story of the Man in the Iron Mask (albeit with super-heroics omitted).

“Hey Dick, speak up, I don’t think they heard you in Versailles!”

And so there you have it. A pretty fun tale, if not entirely accurate. I’m not going to go into who the Man in the Iron Mask really was (“Eustache Dauger“), but I will give the story props. There may or may not have really been a Count Ferney, even though if he did exist, he didn’t have much to do with this tale. What is kind of interesting (to me) is that in today’s France, there is a part of Geneva called Ferney-Voltaire, where the author Voltaire lived, and he was the one who first established that the prisoner had an iron mask. Anyway, join me next time when I’ll regale you with a tale just as fun, but maybe without as much history behind it!

This story originally appeared in World’s Finest Comics #82, May-June 1956. It has been reprinted in various places, notably the Greatest Team-Up Stories Ever Told, World’s Finest Archives Vol. 1, and Showcase: World’s Finest Vol.1.